The act of doing nothing

It's sleep, dummy

How do I start this... Well, I have a love-hate relationship with sleep. Might sound weird, but listen, as a human being who needs it to basically survive, I love it. As a person who wants to do a lot of things, I hate it, a lot. But, it's not that simple. 🤔

Why do we need to sleep?

I've always wondered what would happen if we didn't need to sleep at all. How much more could we do, learn or create? How much more could we live?

I don't feel like doing the research, but I'm pretty sure that we don't know why we need to sleep. As far as I know all living beings sleep in their or way. But why? What's the point? Why do we need to sleep? That's a question I won't answer, so you might want to stop reading if you think I will. 😒

Hate is a strong word. When I said that I hate to sleep, I meant that I hate the fact that I have to sleep. The fact that I need to stop doing things that I love to do. Stop learning, stop creating, stop living, sort of. Fuck that 🥲

I've never been eager to sleep and enjoy staying up very late. The idea of stopping everything that I'm doing, and going to sleep, only to wake up and do them again the next day, that's kind of crazy. Maybe that's just how my life is. Focused on tasks, doing the same things over and over again. Perhaps, deep down, my body doesn't want to reset this cycle.

The all-mighty me 💪

There is one thing about sleeping in particular that I love. ✨Dreaming✨. It's an act that we don't really have a control of. Unless you are a lucid dreamer like me. But most of time, you will go to sleep not knowing if you'll wake up or not, and be prepared to be surprised by your own mind.

As a creative person, my dreams can get pretty wild. A very specific thing that I can do in my dreams is floating. It's very weird that I can apply this ability to most of my dreams, even the realistic ones. It's not like flying at a high speed, but I can float when I let the wind take me, like a leaf 🍃. Can't really control it, but don't fear it either.

Let's not forget that dreams are also a great source of inspiration. I've had a lot of ideas that I've used in my projects that came from my dreams. Solved a lot of problems too.

It's not all fun and games

I've had a lot of nightmares. More precisely, night terrors. I experience them a lot, more than I should probably. It's probably related to my very active mind that I can't seem to shut off easily, and obviously, the bad sleeping habits.

The first one was a couple years ago. I remember the feeling of floating over my bed, and then falling. I woke up in the middle of the night, sweating and with my heart beating like crazy. I was so scared that I started crying and woke up everyone in my house.

It's a very strange and horrible feeling. You are awake, but you can't move. You can't speak 😶. You can't do anything. You are just there, watching your own mind torture you. Over time I've learned how to deal with them, but still micro night terrors happen from time to time.

The end

I don't know how to end this, so. Hug that pillow and enjoy your sleep I guess. 😒